2005-01-04 - 3:33 a.m.

I played a show.

Just to get this in there (because I forgot to take my setlist home with me), here�s what I played, I think:

Empty
Kara, capo 3, chorus
I won�t
Maybe it was
Take on me (requested by eight people who didn�t show)
Thank you, chorus, with �guitar solo� (played for those who did)
We three kings
Somerville (�This is a love song,� which it is)
The new song, which sounded good
4th Time Around (drop A--and REMEMBER the guitar doesn�t like it so play it at the end if it comes up again)
Daydream Believer

Eleven songs, 40 minutes, which I felt was appropriate as the opening guy (40 is stretching it) who doesn�t have anybody else to sound check (40 minutes becomes okay). It was a good setlist, I practiced it well, and I think I did an okay job performing it, but that�s not for me to decide. I didn�t have anything in the monitors, and I should have asked the sound guy to turn me up, and I wish I did--I didn�t want to be a jerk about it, but how does he know what I�m hearing in the monitors? It all worked out in the end, though--I�ve had worse, like that bar/cafe thingie that used to be in Mission Hill where I plugged into a big amp but the mics were through the PA for some reason.

I�m trying to forge an alliance with a drummer, and if it works out, I�m going to have to be more aware of stuff like that when we play together, since it�s not just me playing an instrument, and I know for one that stuff like that throws me off way more than people talking over songs.

Anyway, I really tried to to do something different with some old songs, and I think I made some good choices with them. If you�re reading this, you probably have no idea what I�m talking about. I really like my progress with the guitar on Kara--I can play the song four different ways with the guitar, and I get them all in for the same song, including an obvious changeup in the middle, with some powder from the guitar bag of tricks sprinkled in. I mean, I think I kinda resurrected that song, although what I�m really reaping here is the benefit of a break from that song.

I did a few things different with Empty, which is probably going to be a good leadoff song from now on. People like it (I don�t), but I changed some guitar stuff around enough to make it interesting to me, and I do the vocals a bit differently, and it�s a minute-and-a-half shorter than the version anyone familiar with the song would remember. The reason why it�s such a good song to open with is I don�t care if the sound guy wants to calibrate while I play it--it�s kinda perfect for that reason, as I�m going to be singing and playing the guitar kinda like the way I am for that song for the rest of the night, and if he sets it there and walks away, I can get away with a little bit loud and a little bit quiet for guitar and for vocals and it�ll come out okay (I don�t sing �em-em-em-pty� because I don�t sing it well, because I think it works better for the song in general if I do nothing vocally for that part of it, and because I get a little loud when I sing it and I don�t want the sound guy to turn my vocals down for good because of that, �cause I need them later.)

I thought the new song sounded good. I�ve been really curious as to how that�d sound live, because I do a falsetto for a tiny bit of that song, and I never know how it sounds when I play it in my apartment because I�m not good with the falsetto and obviously my guitar is droning out the weak vocals there. I think that�s the best song I�ve ever written for the guitar, and if it�s not the best, it�s the one I�d submit to a committee that evaluates songs written for people with no formal music training.

I thought my cover of Robyn covering Dylan was my best song, and I�m glad I saved it for later as opposed to doing it right away to get my confidence up/win the room over. Out of everything I did, I can say that the Dylan cover would be the song where if I saw someone play that song exactly the same way that I did, I�d stop talking to my friend and watch the song be played. The fact that I can say that about myself is enough reason for me to continue with the whole music thing.

I dunno. I feel disappointed that I didn�t get a good draw, but at the same time I understand that it�s not a good thing to expect your friends to show for you on the biggest party night of the year that doesn�t involve cameramen shooting Girls Gone Wild segments. I knew what I was getting into, and increasingly more so as the date drew to a close. All I could do was play the best show I could, and that�s what I did.

I survived our Holly Jolly Christmas party, actual Christmas, and this New Year�s show. I�d like to live through more than that, but I did get through a lot, and I should be happy for it.

I spent the next couple of days off running around the apartment, in the absence of something to get ready for, which the Roommate and I have been enjoying for the past two months. It was really weird, to actually have a Friday (show night, felt like a work day), and then a Saturday and a Sunday off, with nothing to do except play poker and watch movies, when I�ve had a day off a week for the past four months.

But as I�ve learned, sometimes sitting around doing nothing, feeling restless, can be the greatest thing in the world. Kinda. Well, not really. But it�s not the suckiest.