2005-02-04 - 2:41 a.m.

I wonder if there's a website that provides �best men� for weddings, not so much in an ecscort service way, but more as a service for people who don't have any responsible and trustworthy friends who can also throw a rockin' party, make a classy toast, etc...

Lemme check..................

Bestman.com is an online dating service directory which doesn't actually feature any original content--the fact that there�s anything there at all is probably just to generate some income off of a deftly chosen url name until some idiot arbitrarily comes up with the service I just invented at the top of this page but who needs a deftly chosen url name that�s very much for sale.

BUT.

Thebestman.com is 100% content, and it seems to derive its income solely off of banner ads--it�s clearly there for the sole altruistic reason of offering advice to those who might need it.

The site is written "for guys," (it even has an entire page devoted to cigars--sneaky, lady), but it reads exactly like a womencentral.msn.com article both in tone and sentence clarity. Also, and I'm just guessing here, but all of the text was probably written by a bride who had a negative experience at her wedding that she percievs is due in a very large part to the antics and ineptitude of her groom's best man.

Wow. I�m so glad I found that site. It�s kinda brilliant on about three hundred levels (including its weird layout and constant need to explain how to use the weird layout with paragraphs in the body beginning At right, are links to...).

I kinda wanna see what happens, so... I'm going to read the entire site right now. Don't bother calling me, I'm not home.

Okay, I�m back. My favourite page is a toast template, which allows the speaker to mix n� match pre-made intros, bodies, and closings to make the perfect toast. There�s a �funny� one full of really safe and very, very corny jokes, and I think it�d be hilarious, if I was a best man at a wedding, to just print the page and fold it in fours and then pull it out of my back pocket in order to run through the whole thing, in order, three intros, two bodies, etc, oblivious, and obviously having to think when it comes time to remember (bride), and confusing (bride�s parents) with (groom�s parents), then apologizing and doing the paragraph over again with the names substituted correctly. Then, when it comes time for a joke, really bombing it. For example, changing folksy The way they always seem to finish each others sentences is sort of cute, in a nauseating sort of way by stressing NAUSEATING and acting really nauseated.

But that�s only funny if I think it, right?

Anyway, the site is a comedy goldmine. Just don�t read it for too long or you�ll start writing unclear ones. Sentences!