2001-12-05 - 1:59 a.m.

Good day. Bad day.

At least the protest garbage bag was gone when I awoke. Yay!

Had C. over in lieu of drinking beers at some bar and blowing mad cash. Went to Star and bought good food. Wise purchases. I actually made a shopping list! I didn't buy anything that I thought would be good for me but which I knew I wouldn't eat. I saved money with my Star card on things that were on my list. Almost six bucks on a $35 excursion. Pretty friggin' cool.

Bought a 30-pack. Bought two packs of Camel lights (my second favorite brand) for the price of one, with the aid of a cupon. Paid off the Art Girl, C., I'm within ten bucks of paying off the Girlfriend for the 8-track, and I owe the Roommate ten bucks too. I deposited $20 to Sovereign (the other bank account) to compensate for the money I overdrew yesterday. I'll have six dollars when that clears (I hope). Apparently, Citizens cashed some crap debit card charge (probably a Christmas present for someone) I had forgotten about, so I had to pay another bank fee, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. (I did have to pay another $25 overdraft fee for a $0.35 "ATM fee," but I don't mind for some reason.) I paid a (slightly late) $75 payment to Best Buy for the monitor. And I gotta buy a present for the Yankee Swap for tomorrow's Work Christmas Party. All this money crap I'm aware of today--payday. More to come.

In other words, I'm still pretty fuckin' broke. Really, really broke.

But not as broke as yesterday. I'll be that broke in about three days.

I really hope I get a friggin' Christmas bonus from the Work. I really deserve one, and I've gotten screwed two Christmases in a row (co-workers agree--I'm not just making stuff up to make me feel better). This year, I could really use something.

The past two times I've had someone over (E. and C.), the Girlfriend has talked about nothing other than her new job and how you have to make something of your life, and about how she learned everything she could from her last job (the one where I currently work). It was obviously directed towards me.

She talks about the change in her life with the conviction of a door to door born again Christian. Yay!

She has given me an ultimatum, but she doesn't agree with that word. I don't know which synonym to "ultimatum" she would prefer. She wants to make it all seem like a selfless conquest with the goal being to improve my life.

Conquest. Salvation. Selfless. Yay!

If she wants to put flowers around the grave, so be it.

(She has a point, mind you.)

I don't think that turning our relationship into a dangling carrot before my eyes is going to make being with her any more attractive than is the work environment in which I'm already in. A workplace that she would readily, and with much enthusiasm, liken to one in which a greedy coach driver dangles a carrot before the eyes of a donkey.

Or something.