2002-01-01 - 11:33 p.m.

Happy New Year!

This is most likely the last palendromic year we all will experience. Those of us who were around to experience 1991 are especially lucky. We get to experience two palendromic years in our lifetimes, plus a millenium.

The Girlfriend and I went to Salem and had a pretty good time. Stayed at the Hawthorne hotel. Watched a portion of the Twilight Zone marathon just before sundown, as if we had all the time in the world. Went to Bunghole Liquors and bought some beer, and wine for the Girlfriend. Blasted the heat with the window open because we weren't paying for it. Took some pictures. Went to Salem Beer Works (the Girlfriend kept calling it Cambridge Beer Works, which was cute). Had some lunch. Spilled hamburger grease on my jeans (a rarity). Walked around in the freezing cold.

For the most part, Salem was (literally) a ghost town.

The Girlfriend and I had visited once before, about two years ago. This time, I was very impressed with my precious sense of direction. The minute I stepped off the commuter rail, I remembered where everything was and how to get there. I even remembered where we sat in restaurants and recognized a waiter and a desk clerk from two years ago. Why do I remember the wackiest things? I have a very queer memory, and sometimes it ends up hurting people--me being able to recall the most random of trivial facts about people, but hear their birthdays a million times and have epic conversations about them, and not be able to remember the dates. Well, maybe I'm just evil.

It's all good.

We went to a dive bar (we didn't know ahead of time that it was going to be that way) called Roosevelt's. It was scary. Some chowdahead in a sweatpants ensemble kept giving me the "I'm going to kick your ass the minute I get a chance" look. I donned a tiara that said Happy New Year!!!!!!!! and quickly left, the Girlfriend safely in tow.

Went back to Salem Beer Works and New Years Eved it up. Ate some mini-quiche. Champagne toast at midnight. We each had several glasses. Toasted the new year twice.

No smoking in all of Salem's bars and resturants. Had to go outside. Ran back to the hotel to get more smokes. I guess some dude kissed the Girlfriend in my absence. She was kinda excited about it when she told the story. Good for her.

My mother brought back a million pieces of junk from Ireland. From this pile, I chose a present for the Girlfriend. I made absolutely sure that I got first choice, and I picked out for her a beautiful russet-y scarf.

She couldn't find it when we left for check-out. I felt terrible for her. She owned it for less than 48 hours.

Ate breakfast at In a Pig's Eye--my eggs benedict was delicious. Breakfast can be sooo exciting. It's always a little disappointing, but the living of the dream is always worth the money. Good breakfast.

The trace-your-own-steps search for the scarf continued, and it was fruitless.

Went to the movies afterward. The whole town was deserted. The theatre was located inside of a mini-mall. There was one store open, and it was an antique store. Passing by, I got the impression that the only reason why it was open was that the owner had nothing better to do. I did see someone moving around beyond the locked doors of the movie theatre, and concluded that the scheduled times taped to its front door were not yesterday's headlines. The first movie of the day was not for some time, so the Girlfriend and I went back to the hotel, and ate at its pub. Bruchetta. Never had it before. Tasted like the upper class version of pizza on an english muffin.

Saw the goddamn Grinch movie starring Jim Carrey. Terrible. I couldn't believe it was a real movie. There were five people in the audience. The Girlfriend and I made two. Then, some wacky old guy, and also a dad and his retarded son. The son spazzed out a few times in the lobby, but hardly made a noise for the duration of the movie. Afterward, we saw Shallow Hal, and there were more people in the audience. That retarded kid acted far more maturely than the kids sitting behind us.

Retarded or not, you don't fucking talk in a movie theatre. This isn't one of my wacky anal rules about taking the garbage out. Why would you go to a movie to do anything other than watch a movie? If I so chose, I could list over a million other places in which to converse. Why pay to converse in a place in which you are theoretically allowed not to? Oh well, why bother. People that talk during movies will probably go to hell, and I probably won't, so... problem solved.

Afterward, the Girlfriend and I ate some Thai food in that very same mall (it wasn't good, and there were no chopsticks--I think the owners gave up on the people of Salem). Went back to the hotel to pick up my bag and then to the commuter rail station, and subsequently home.

The End.

Both of us were disappointed that our holidays were over. There'll be other ones, though.