2002-03-05 - 12:33 a.m.

You know that lovely song?

Sweet. Romantic? Everytime you see some jackass with a ridiculous two-seat bicicle, you remember that precious song and want to kick him in the face a little bit less?

Well, the song has a second half.

And that's the end of the goddamn song.

I'm not mentioning this to make some sort of greater statement on my relationship, or about the battle of the sexes (I hate that phrase more than I do information superhighway.)

I just think it's a pretty good example of a widely misunderstood song.

The best example?

The Police's Every Breath You Take. Say what you will about Sting (please?), but this is one of the most masterfully written songs, ever.

It's about a friggin' stalker, for chrissakes.

Ominous.

But all these chicks out there, they totally fawn over this character.

Jeezus, I totally wish that some wacky dude would obsess over me from a distance, and eventually harass me to no end and then turn my life into a fear-soaked hell! If only some wacky Prince Charming would keep constant vigil, tracking my every step and in his spare time using my recovered toe-nail clippings as a masturaboratory aid! But alas...

Even friggin' Puff Daddy (or Pee Diddie, or whatever he chooses to call himself) covered the song in tribute to one of his dead friends!