2002-03-27 - 2:43 a.m.

So it's midnight, and the Girlfriend hasn't come home yet from dinner with Anguish. I wonder what's going on...

Anyway, this has been making the rounds of late, and at the moment I'm not all chock full of ideas and the like, so I thought I'd give it a go. (Even though it's tacky).

15 years ago I...

1) Was just starting to discover music that my parents didn�t listen to.

2) Was either thinking about Christmas presents to come or birthday presents to come.

3) Rode my bike with my friend Tommy to the Arboretum, drank from a water fountain, found that rocky field at the back end, and jumped over a tiny stream.

4) Read Encyclopedia Brown books.

5) Loved the Red Sox more than anything in the world.

10 years ago I...

1) Watched MTV all day. I taped my favorite videos and would watch the tape over and over again, dreading the day when David Lee Roth�s Just Like Paradise would leave the top 10.

2) Was thinking either about video games or sex.

3) Rode the 39 bus home from Latin School, absorbing as much as I could of the city.

4) Well, I didn�t really know how to get along with the other kids, and my defense mechanism was to be as weird as possible�to take that argument out of their hands, I guess, and also to entertain. The kids would pass around �slambooks,� which were spiral notebooks that were passed around. Each page had some kid�s name at the top, and the idea was to write down what you though of the kid on that person�s page. I didn�t usually make the slambooks, but when I did, welllll� it wasn�t pretty. So I�d sign my own page and say something like yeah, he�s weird, but he�s also funny and really nice.

5) Stupidly traded all of my valuable baseball cards for a stack of Red Sox baseball cards. To this day, a part of me thinks that I made the right choice, �cause I loved those cards to death.

5 years ago I...

1) Was in college. I had a long red ponytail, a carryover from not being able to grow my hair out in high school (which, by the way, this every five year thing conveniently glosses over).

2) Actually went to parties. Boring ones, usually, but parties nonetheless. Started drinking (more).

3) Wrote (mostly) terrible songs and played them alone in my tiny dorm room over and over, consciously ignoring the fact that my walls were paper-thin. I was listening to better music, though.

4) Had already been dating the Girlfriend for a long, long time.

5) Was having the best time of my life, and dreaded the day that I�d have to get a real job. I spent about 15 hours a week at my primary one�the Big Company.

2 years ago I...

1) Spent about 50 hours a week at my primary job�the Big Company.

2) Had already been dating the Girlfriend for a long, long, long time.

3) Left my first apartment, where I had enjoyed every minute. Even the bad ones.

4) Had quite a few friends (more than 10), and was very proud of it.

5) Started getting a little belly.

1 year ago I...

1) Well, let�s just say that in an average month, I would have about 4 days where I didn�t have to go to work (including holidays). Also, started getting hardcore wrinkles.

2) Well, let�s just say that, as always, I was very much in love with the Girlfriend, who I had already been dating for a very, very, very, very long time.

3) Moved to Allston Rock City!

4) Was horribly depressed, and stoically self-denied it.

5) Loved the Red Sox more than anything in the world.

Yesterday I...

1) Had a nice walk to the C line (for exercise), read on the train, got out at Government Center, and got my morning queasy, dreading feeling in the stomach, wondering what wacky thing I had done wrong the previous night.

2) Had Molly and C. (from work) over. Drank some beer. They stayed �till midnight.

3) Ate a fish sandwich from McDonald�s, and for dinner a microwaved sausage-egg-and-cheese-on-a-biscuit sandwich.

4) Wrote, then stayed up �till 3:30 in the morning angrily washing dishes, thinking to myself this is the last time�from now on, I�m only going to clean up after myself�fuck it if the place gets filthy for about the millionth time.

5) Went to bed.

Today I...

1) Reluctantly woke up. Saw the Girlfriend�s rent check to the Roommate on the table, and left mine out too. I covered them both with a piece of paper and wrote the Roommate�s name on it. The landlord has been showing the place to prospective tenants lately, and it wouldn�t have been the best thing in the world if he had noticed a rent check on the kitchen table made out by someone who wasn�t on the lease.

2) Took a shower forever. Got ready, and had planned on taking out the garbage bag that either the Girlfriend or the Roommate had conveniently pulled out of the can for me. There was already a new bag in the can, and it was almost full. I was gonna take out the bag that was smoldering away on my kitchen floor, but then I realized that doing so would have put my hands in contact with some pretty nasty stuff that didn�t come from me. I would have to go all the way upstairs to wash my hands, even though I was on the way to work. So I decided to leave it be. Protest.

3) Stuck up for Radish at work, a little. Even though she sucks, it doesn�t mean I can�t feel bad for her, and I wasn�t really in trouble for anything that day so I could afford to.

4) Realized that, two years ago, I never would have filled this thing out and posted it. Rather, I would have brushed it off and filled it with oh-so-clever meta-jokes.

5) Was wondering where the Girlfriend was, imagining her coming through the door an hour from now, sighing for dramatic effect, and then bitching �bout her date with Anguish, even though she secretly had a good time.

Tomorrow I will...

1) Head to work. Obviously.

2) Make some plans to hang out with R., who I haven�t seen in awhile.

3) Wear my favorite dark grey sweater with the rolly seams.

4) Drink some beer when I get home.

5) Do something meaningful that very well might change my life for the better, and that I wouldn�t have done had I not answered these very questions (sorry, had to sneak one in).

Five items I have brand loyalty to... (I�m assuming that brand loyalty doesn�t mean that I�ll only buy this one product from now on, and also insert well meant but idiotic diatribe here)

1) McDonald�s

2) Banana Republic

3) Matador Records

4) Budweiser

5) Parliament cigarettes

Five snacks I enjoy...

1) Lunch

2) Dinner

3) Breakfast, if it�s a weekend and I actually eat three meals.

4) Sorry

5) Nothing else

Five songs I know all the words to, even without the music...

1) The Greatest Love of All

2) The Inspector Gadget theme song (by the way, why did he have to be an inspector? Couldn�t he have been Detective Gadget?)

3) Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, the Alphabet Song, AND Sesame Street�s take on the alphabet song (if those crumbs are all you want, don�t eat at my restaurant).

4) Bust a Move

5) Metal Machine Music

Five games I like...

1) Scrabble

2) Toying with people

3) Chess

4) Drinking

5) Trivia

Five albums that changed my life...

1) They Might be Giants

2) The Kershaw Sessions by Robyn Hitchcock

3) Hysteria by Def Leppard

4) Either/Or by Elliot Smith

5) Racially Yours by the Frogs

Five things I can't live without...

1) My guitar

2) My computer

3) The Girlfriend/people I love

4) Air/gravity/food, etc

5) Books

Five things I would buy with $1000...

1) 0.5% of what I owe for my diploma

2) Some kickass CDs

3) 3% of my credit card bill

4) Some beers

5) That�s it. $1000 isn�t all that much money when you have it all at once. I thought I was doing good paying off some bills, and then all of a sudden I�m broke again. Too bad.

My top five guilty pleasures...

1) Coffee

2) Beer

3) Porn

4) Fast Food

5) Smokes

(that was easy�)

Top five musicians lately (or who's in the CD player right now?)

1) Guided By Voices (still)

2) The Velvet Underground (no, I�m not saying that to sound cool�it�s just the honest answer to the goddamn question)

3) Robyn Hitchcock (just tracked down a rare CD)

4) Half Japanese

5) Yo La Tengo

Top five locations I'd like to run away to...

1) Home (if I�m at work)

2) Budapest

3) Providence, RI

4) Newark, NJ or Worcester, MA or Lowell, MA or Flint, MI or any other dying northern American city with old brick factories

5) Moscow

Name five bad habits I have...

1) Coffee

2) Beer

3) Porn

4) Fast Food

5) Smokes

Name five people currently on my bad side...

1) Nobody, really. I�ll get over it. Again, not trying to be Senor Cool or anything

Name five things I would never wear...

1) Shorts. Especially with black socks

2) A moustache (except as joke)

3) Any article of clothing that boldly endorses the company who sold it

4) Anything that screams LOOK AT ME! Especially a pet-as-accessory (like a python on my shoulders), or an indie-outfit

5) A cell-phone

Name five TV shows you like...

1) Six Feet Under

2) Queer as Folk

3) The Simpsons

4) The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

5) Law & Order