2002-04-21 - 1:09 a.m.

Today is Saturday. My first Saturday off in some time.

Reading my older entries, which I don't really do all that often, I notice that I don't do a very good job pointing out the obvious. Like the day of the week.

Some of my entries don't make that much sense.

Most of 'em are way too long.

Still, I'm actually very comfortable with the way I go about running this narrative.

If you look at my collected body of work here as a testament to how well I can write between the hours of 1:00 to 4:00 in the morning, and after many, many beers, you could theoretically make a quasi-reasonable argument that I'm the most brilliant genius of my epoch.

That argument becomes far less quasi-reasonable if you use any other criteria.

If you should ever leave me,

Though life would still go on, believe me,

The world could show nothing to me.

So what good would living do me?

One of the fun things I can do here is say anything I want to. Whatever pops into my head, if I just happen to be sitting in front of a computer, might just make its ugly way here.

When I started doing this, I really could say anything, and with complete anonymity. I could put 100% of my thought in, and with 25% effort.

Same effort, today, or maybe less, but I really can't say everything I wanna.

Cause people I know read this thing.

The following is an entirely unsolicited apology.

What I wrote last night was inexcusable. It was not necessary. It was unfair.

'Cause when I wrote it, I knew that it would most likely be read by the subject of the entry.

And when I started this thing, I did it for just me, and for me only.

One of the rare morsels of solace my otherwise corpulent id was willing to (sw)allow.

I started writing here so that I could have some place to write, and the on-line thing was my incentive to not slack off.

I didn't start it to be a trashy piece of shit, and I most certainly did not start it so that could I air my trashy piece of shit-stained laundry for all the looking world to see.

I (should be) better than that.

What I wrote last night, I felt. Unfortunately, what I felt last night, I committed to an on-line journal.

I wrote something scathing and accessible here, and so here I apologize to the subject of my last entry.

It wasn't cool. It was not fair. Below the belt.

But, again publicly, here I also say�behave like that again, and to my friends (I don't really care what you say to me, all that much)�behave like that once more, and I will deal with the matter.

Privately.