2002-06-19 - 2:05 a.m.

You know what I love?

It's weird. I never write about it here, since I almost always update at the end of my day; or at the very rare least in the middle of it during the weekends or (gasp!) at work.

I love putzing around the apartment, place to myself, before I go to work.

I work from 1-9pm, so when I wake up, I have the whole place to myself. Nobody to wake up or annoy, and that includes neighbors.

I play around on the internet for awhile, reading baseball stuff and fark, check my hotmail and the (ex)'s diary, gasp in horror at the monstrosities I had created the previous evening writing in my own diary, drink some juice if I have any, walk around aimlessly for minutes on end, and try to get ready for the day.

I have nobody to talk to, actually, so I in fact don't say anything out loud (to another person) until around three hours after waking up, which I just noticed right now. (I guess the first thing I normally say out loud to another real person is �Medium ice, NO sugar�, to the first person at Dunkie�s that�ll take my order.)

It's kinda funny. It's like my well-seasoned story about walking home from summer school in Roxbury when I was fourteen, lost for four or five hours, worried the whole time. When I got home, I think I just played Nintendo or something.

When I go to bed and think about the events of the day, I never think about those few waking moments, where sleep has defeated the contaminating spores of the previous day�s events, and my newly-immune body has not yet been exposed to the coming onslaught.

Here's what I love...

Taking a shower with the bathroom door wide open, listening to a current favorite CD at full volume, knowing that I�m bothering no one.

Singing along. Pretending that I�m in some dingy bar band, and that the boys and I had decided to cover an entire album. I play a respectable rhythm guitar, and sing the pussy songs. The lead guitarist sings the rocky ones, and that�s where I concentrate on shampooing.

Sometimes I don�t play a CD when I take a shower. I do this when I feel a little too socially wonky.

When I take these showers, I�m doing the world a favor. It is then that I act out brilliant (but only, and I really do mean only) to me, soliloquies and avant-garde spoken word pieces that really would just not work in public.

I�ll shout out fleebles and meebles and kloibles and moibles and floobles and flambles and klibbles and bibbles and floimbles and hoimbles and noibles and lables and bibles and maibles and so on, and I�ll laugh a little, getting as much of the day�s insaneness (as can possibly be expected) out of my system.

I�m like Daniel Johnston in there, but a little more insane.

Washing myself thoroughly, I�ve created worlds lacking in both gravity and dimension. And never the same.

The rules evolve.

OK�so I am a little crazy. But, again, I do my best to have the insanity manifest itself fully and then wear itself out before I actually leave my apartment and truly begin my day.

And sometimes that hour or so is, in fact, the best part of my day.