2002-09-12 - 2:45 a.m.

Today was actually eerily beautiful. The weather, that is. I mean, I was expecting something a little more biblical.

But, as I slept, the sun actually rose. Low 70's on the heels of a last gasp quasi heat wave. It was very windy all day, and the dust, sand, dirt, and grime off the street kept getting swept up in gusts that playfully blasted me and others in the eyes.

It got colder as the day went on, almost a perfect day for a hater of Summer and a lover of Fall.

I stayed on the bus a few stops after my own so I could walk awhile.

Even though the sun had long since set, the sky was a deep deep blue, and the clouds drifted aimlessly like hundreds of puffy white eyebrows.

All the windows are open now, and the wind eddies through the new apartment, swirling through the rooms just like I did when I first saw the place.

It�s just cold enough inside to qualify as being cold, and the temperature here, the leaves rustling outside, and the way my body is responding to this crisp air, reminds me of right before I became so sick that I had to miss school for a week. It was drafty and chilly, and I was reading a book, top bunk, covers drawn, socks still on, wondering if I could ever feel more comfortable, or ever had.

All I will say about this day is that it marks the end of a very fast year. And that I didn�t cry, even though I thought I was going to. I�m such an idiot that way--I�ll cry about this three days from now, just to avoid going with the crowd. Oh, and I will admit, stubbornly, that at the end of a long training session at work in an otherwise deserted office, signing an I-9 form, I asked one of my trainees for the date (I always forget), and immediately uttered a low, drawn �Oh...�.