2002-10-06 - 1:05 a.m.

So the Roommate's sister is up for the weekend, which is always fun for me 'cause I get to be silly.

It's also kinda weird, 'cause I'm never ever ever ever around kids. I'm actually really great with them, but they freak me out. 'Cause I'm scared that I'll accidentally do something wildly inappropriate, like swearing, or maybe something more subtle, that could end up influencing them in a manner that is both horrific and unforeseen.

I know how I was around adults when I was a kid. I think that each one left some indelible impression on me, good or bad I have no idea, it's not really a linear thing. But I don't wanna do that to another kid, but then again, I was absurdly maladjusted (and to my parents� credit, for no real reason), so, again, I have no clue when it comes to kids.

Or maybe I do want to leave an impression on the impressionable, but I want it to be good things like how even though I can be really playful and absurd and fun and cool and can say weird things, I still brush my teeth and always look both ways before crossing the street and what not.

I performed the Gummi Bears theme song for her--she loves it and wants to hear it every time she comes up, but she's too afraid to ask, so she asks the Roommate, when I sneak out of the room, to come up with a story.

I also played a game with her last time she was up (in Allston), that I used to play with my Mom when I was a kid.

You play it on the sidewalk. Take a tile (is that the word for a paved square of sidewalk?), and the two players stand facing each other on opposite sides, behind the cracks, the opposite edges of the tile of sidewalk. Put a bottle cap in the middle. The two players take turns bouncing a ball, aiming it at the bottlecap, until one player is able to get the cap over the opposing player's line. Does this make sense?

Anyway, I'm hoping to get that in tomorrow, 'cause I'd hate to disappoint the Roommate's sister. Last time she was up, she loved the game so much, we ended up playing it for two hours. Which is quite some time when you're hung over (me, not the kid).

Speaking of kids, I�m making a mix for one of my boss/buddies. He has a little baby with a pretty name, and she just turned one, and the mix is actually for her.

I have absolutely no idea what one-year-olds like to listen to, and for that matter, what one-year-olds are like.

Can they reason? Do they have likes and dislikes? Can they speak? Do they understand lots of words, or just a few? How big are they? How much time do they have to spend with people before they recognize them? What kind of food do they eat? Can they eat by themselves, or do they still have to be fed? Do they still wear diapers?

Please pardon my ignorance. These questions might seem ridiculous to some, but I honestly don�t know the answers.

Nonetheless, I�m making a mix-CD for a one-year-old I don�t remember meeting (I might have--whenever anyone brings a baby to work I tend to hide in the shadows until baby-fest is over. I really feel bad for the baby).

OK--so here�s the deal. I�ve narrowed over three hours of potential songs down to one and a half hours, but I have to get it narrowed down to one hour and twenty minutes, and even then, I don�t plan on making the disc that long.

Here�s what I have so far:

Gling Glo by Bjork

Small Car by Marvin Pontiac

The Guitar (the Lion Sleeps Tonight) by They Might Be Giants

Embarrassed Teen Accidentally Uses Valuable Rare Postage Stamp by Jad Fair and Yo La Tengo

My Little Corner of the World by Yo La Tengo

I Feel Beautiful by Robyn Hitchcock

Pink Moon by Nick Drake

Circus Man by Daniel Johnston

Carnival by the Cardigans

Twiggy Twiggy by Pizzicato Five

American Music by the Violent Femmes

Whole Lotta Shakin� Goin� On by Big Star

Why Does the Sun Shine? by They Might be Giants

Balloon Man by Robyn Hitchcock

Sturdies Bay by the Softies

...and then it gets a little hazy. I�m not completely satisfied with the track order right now, and could shuffle things up a bit, but everything pretty much works out so far.

I�m considering adding:

Brass in Pocket by the Pretenders

Roadrunner by the Modern Lovers

Speeding Motorcycle and Shake Sugaree by Mary Lou Lord

Satellite of Love by Lou Reed

Caramel by Suzanne Vega

New Hampshire and Arkansas by John Linnell

Song of Joy by Half Japanese

Happy Time by Daniel Johnston

Watching the Wheels by John Lennon

Count Five or Six by Cornelius

Put Me on Top by Aimee Mann

I want to make the kid a great mix-CD that she can wiggle about to, which, as is my understanding, what one-year-olds do, while at the same time introducing her to some good music. I honestly don�t know what a baby likes, though, or how complex a baby�s understanding is. Obviously, anything loud or jarring, at all, was not included. I tried to keep it happy, sweet, and tried to put some annoying tracks (like Whole Lotta Shakin� Goin� On) that only a baby could like.

I�m a little concerned about American Music, cause of the �did you do too many drugs?� line, and what not, but I�m assuming that that�s kind of over a baby�s head.

But I don�t know. I know how protective parents can be, and I don�t want to walk into work and get sucker punched over the �see your brother burn in hell� line from Daniel Johnston�s �Circus Man.� In fact, I�m taking that one off right now, even though the music fits in really well.

Obviously, I�m going to spend some time on this.

Obviously, I can only work with the resources available to me, which isn�t much when it comes to my music collection as it pertains to one-year-olds.

Suggestions are welcome.