2002-11-14 - 1:37 a.m.

Sorry to sound new-agey, but I gotta find out if I�m alone here. Does everyone else only get a certain amount of creative energy each day?

That�s how it works with me.

It�s not always the same amount, and I never really know how much I have until it�s all spent, but I do know that once the day is through, anything left over just goes away--squandered cellphone minutes.

It�s important to manage it well, too. Like the Coach does.

I like using some of that energy, little by little, here and there, as the day goes on, especially if it all builds to something greater later on, when I use up the remainder in one big neutron-bomb diary entry, grammar and editing be damned.

I wish I had more, though. If I, say, write a good e-mail to a friend, I can�t write an equally good entry here.

Sometimes, I blow it all on one person, or on just one moment, never to be recorded and sometimes never to be remembered, but that's not selfish at all.

Recently, I�ve taken to waking up earlier, like really early (today was a record 8:45 am, which is pretty frickin� early when you consider that I don�t have to get up �till 11:45 at the very latest).

Every day, I�ve been getting up early, and playing the fucking guitar for at least an hour. It�s become a good habit.

Fuck yeah. It�s been a couple of months since I�ve played regularly.

I�m starting to get it back. I�m starting to fucking get it back.

I can�t wait.

Its just to bad that teh other stuff I does suffres bekauseit.