2002-11-26 - 2:30 a.m.

I�m thinking about how I never want to go into another store ever again, even just to look at things. All of a sudden, I�m making up excuses and drawing up plans, just so I can buy a $100 pair of headphones when I should be concentrating on Christmas presents, and because I can�t listen to music at night, when I get home, �cause a little girl lives directly below me.

Sorry to be insensitive and honest, but I really hate that little girl.

I almost want to live in this apartment for seven or so years, just so I can barge downstairs and scream I wasted my youth so your daughter could sleep, and now she�s blaring rap music all night, and you can�t control her! For every silently measured tiptoe, you owe me back one night of my life.

I�m serious. I would love to blame someone else for accidentally allowing my sweet bird of youth to fly aimlessly away.

This year went by so fast. And here I am, in a supposedly better apartment, not only lamenting not being able to listen to music at a reasonable volume, but publicly bitching about it.

And I have Feed the Tree by Belly stuck on replay in my head, to boot.

This year went by so fast, faster than ever, like every next year does, but every Monday, I want the week to skip ahead a couple of days, which is just sad.

Is it like that in Alaska? In Germany? Were I there, would I hate most Mondays, or would I be so blissed out that I would have a problem remembering what day of the week it was?

I dunno. I have something to look forward to, but I can�t say what it is out loud, or else it won�t come true.

But I�ve learned the hard way that people aren�t wishes, and I don�t know what else to say but wait like I�ve been waiting.

My hiccups just went away.

The people who have everything figured out, or who are all set are the biggest assholes in the world.