2002-12-03 - 11:08 a.m.

I got the Roommate hooked on Diaryland! We both have a fondness for unintentional comedy (that�s why she accepted my invitation to be my guest at the Big Company�s Christmas party), and I showed her the place where you can blindfoldedly throw a dart and be guaranteed to hit it.

First I showed her the banners (current favorite--the thinking man statue wondering why a girl�s diary is lonely, then realizing that it�s probably because she�s running in circles, and ultimately advising us all to check it out).

Then I showed her how to search profiles by music or literary taste or what not, and how the best ones are the ones at the bottom--the diaries with less than ten entries, last updated months ago.

It�s amazing how you can get a quick quick glimpse at someone�s life--and possibly at their most psychotic, �cause that�s why people start these things. The best are the ones that go to the trouble of creating a fancy layout, just to cop out (without even saying goodbye) three entries later. I like when a diary starts in the middle and ends in the middle, and when no attempt is made at disguising names.

I can�t decide if the twisted spelling cries for help (with poetry!), are my favorite (sorry to be crass), or perhaps the ones where angst-ridden girls write down the trashy fantasy rants that run through their heads--no explanation for the reader, just assorted and one-sided damning evidence and fury.

Anyway, I got her hooked--I�m on my bed, watching Seinfeld, and she�s on my computer, mumbling something about how people that listen to the band Television have the best designs.

It�s fun.

Disclaimer--OK--I know it�s really mean to make fun of people�s diaries, but it�s fun to be mean sometimes (and karma will make me pay for making fun of that girl�s banner--I know it). I only do profile searches every couple of months, and I only laugh at the ones that wrote a couple and then gave up. If you wanna write a diary about fairies, and you keep it up, that�s fine. I will spare you from my mockery. All I�m saying is, watch out for the Roommate.

Have I created a monster? Only time will tell.