2002-12-18 - 3:20 a.m.

I got into trouble at work today. I saw it coming.

I mean--it�s not a huge deal or anything--I�ve done worse, but it was all my fault.

Every day, on the train, I have to see the Leverett Circle Footbridge sign by Science Park, the THIRD RAIL POWER IS ALIVE and standard fallout shelter signs in the windows of two apartments (in the same building, upstairs and downstairs from each other), and the clock by Friend St.

Three of four, I have to see, which took me a while to iron out. So--if I miss the footbridge sign �cause I�m not paying attention, I�m still OK.

It bothered me for a while that there weren�t five things I had to see--four is kinda a weird number �cause it�s even, but that�s just the way it is and I�ve come to accept it.

OK--so I really almost fell backwards in my chair just now, which I�m taking as a sign that I shouldn�t even be talking about this. But I�ll forge on, vainly.

(I�m not an idiot, by the way--that was a play on words.)

OK--so I have to see three of four, and everything�s OK. Four of four, and I�m making up for misses.

And I only have to do this if I get my seat on the train. Anywhere else, from poor vantage point, just doesn�t count, although it is a bonus if I can make it anyway.

Only counts on the way to work--not back, and not if I�m not going to work, or if I�m with someone, although it is a bonus if I can make it.

So I snoozed today, and I paid the price. I picked up a copy of the Metro (which I can almost always find just there--in my seat--as if some bizarre doppleganger was placing it there for me).

I really hate the Metro, and find it highly amusing at the same time, and also kinda informative--just like how I feel about FOX news.

Summary articles that take less than 20 seconds to read--feature inserts in the middle that blur the lines between articles and paid advertisements.

I�m willing to bet that a grade school can come up with a better paper. I�m serious--that wasn�t a joke.

But people love it--it�s the Cliff�s Notes of current events, but less challenging and with more articles about cute animals (again, not a joke).

(Side note to a side note--wouldn�t it be funny if the kind folks at Cliff�s Notes, in an effort to move more volumes, started changing the plots to books to make them more appealing? Ivanhoe with less Saxons and Normans and more whales? Romeo and Juliet, where the main character was referred to as Leo, so it would be less confusing, or Hamlet�s plot summary actually a plot summary of Strange Brew? Tom Sawyer and the Chamber of Secrets?)

So, anyway, I was perusing my found copy of the Metro, searching for a Steve DeOssie guest column. This guy really cracks me up--13 years in the NFL, and now writing columns for the Metro, like

Pats Need to Win Against the Jets

The Pats have the tools they need to succeed. But I don�t see that though. They�re 5-0 against losing teams, but winning teams should be 5-0 too. If they play hard enough, they can beat the Jets. But they have heart, so they can beat them. The numbers don�t matter, though.

They need to beat the Jets to keep their playoff hopes alive. A loss against the Jets would not seal their fate, but it would make a playoff hope seem less possible.

They have to have the keys to succeed. In Tom Brady, they have those keys. And also in their running backs.

Their defensive coordinator has the heart to win, and the tools to succeed, but can the team step up on big plays and properly execute defense?

But they�re not playing with heart, and that�s what they need to succeed against this team. They need this win badly.

I am optimistic that the Pats are in control of their own destiny. But poor execution could spell disaster though.

We all think that they can win this game. But if you want to win games, you need the tools to win all the games against your opponents, which the Patriots have at their disposal.

The Pats have those tools to win. I�m optimistic that they have the will to succeed, and the heart to win.

Sorry to make fun, but that was exactly what I wanted to read.

And, searching for it, I forgot to look for the Leverett Circle Footbridge sign by Science Park. And I missed the fallout shelter sign, along with the THIRD RAIL POWER IS ALIVE sign placed in some person�s window, blinds drawn, no other explanation attached.

I made the clock, but it was too late.

I got in trouble at work, and it was all my own fault.