2002-12-19 - 12:34 a.m.

I've got something to say, so wipe that smile off your face and listen.

With regards to slumps--hey--next time I'm in one, I gotta love myself for being proven to be able to deal, and that alone should be enough.

Slumps are like prolonged hiccups--nothing I can do will really get me outta one.

So don't try--cause the inevitable failure rubbing it in my face kind of thing only makes it worse worse worse.

Here's what you gotta do--

1) Acknowledge the slump.

2) Rest.

3) Cover up--act normal. Not cover up like make excuses or blame people. Just cover up--don't let anyone know that you're anything less than your best, and they won't notice--nobody cares to probe the depths of your horror-ridden psyche unless you ask--so don�t. Downward spiral completely avoided.

4) Be patient. Wait. Most importantly--be confident, cause you know it'll be OK sooner than later.

5) It'll come, and ride the wave when you break out--and don't question it.

Bonus tip--this is for the pros--Don't do anything stupid. I know--easier said than done. I'm still working on it myself, and I'm getting closer with each try. And I also know from experience that it's impossible to get through one day without doing anything stupid. What I mean is, don't give in to the slump. Don't let the slump lull you into making poor decisions by way of telling you that if you do what's easiest or most comfortable, fuck the consequences, the pain of the slump will be eased.

That's just evil.

I'm not on some crazy high right now, but somehow I'm guessing that tomorrow will be better than today. I handled this slump the right way, and I'm all the better for it.

Bonus tip #2--which I just broke--don't jinx yourself.

Also receiving mentions--

Try to avoid reminiscing about the past.

Take a really long walk.

Whatever you do--know that you can lick it. Eighteen billion little floatie wiggly sperms raced and fought to the death to make you. You are the winner--you are the one that survived.