2003-02-03 - 11:16 a.m.

& here you are--readin� this--& i want you to raise that fist in the air & cry out to the gods above (or below, whateva gets you off) a tormented �why why why�--you all missed a hell of a fuckin� good weekend--a scene--you missed the repeat performance of piss on the ladies room floor- you missed the multiple shaded hues of black--tees and leather and wool, plastic too (and by the way, not a white bra in the house)- you missed the hotties and not so hot hotties- you missed the sideburns and the greasers, the bald, the balding, the grey- and above all, you missed the noise and let me tell ya (and in even this drunken state i know it�s true) you coulda made all that you missed on saturday up on sunday (for almost half the price) and unless you were there, you were not, which means you missed it-

you missed the rock--that means the rock n� roll- you missed the heavy and the rockabilly and the fastbacks-like, you missed the grit and the sweat and the beer tossed upon singers- &&&&&&&& you missed some really good noise- the beauty in the chaos, the fun in the chaos, the fuckin� hell hath no fury in the chaos--you missed it all- let that fist raise, not defiant...let me tell you--you should be fuckin� in mourning right now--you missed a damn good time-

band 11: kipper tin:

gooooooood band--another chick lead--yay! her voice rocks--jenn says �sounds like cigarettes singin��

we like this band!

***skeeze man is back--touches jenn�s bracelet---eeeewwwwwwwww!!!!

band 12: meat depressed:

�it�s time to fuck�

strong, loud, funny---yay!

***intermission: coffee...need coffee--cooooofffffeeeeeeeeeee (john makes another spectacle of himself at 1369--spills coffee just bought...the idiot)

band 13: lenny & the piss poor boys:

jenn says �oh-e-o, he looks just like buddy holly....but with tattoos--sings songs o� six packs, cigarettes, stink bombs, and homo rainbows�

fun fun fun--...for 60 minutes tops-

band 14: the dents:

jenn looooovvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeed this band- john loved this band---we mutually loved this band and you should too (unless you wanna be a loser or something)-

band 15: asa brebner:

jenn says �old geezers in this band--but they�ve still got (most of) their hair--rock n� roll--looks like they�ve got all their teeth too---ahhhhh...the wonders of modern dentistry�

john sings �the gambler� again--this time backed up by Corbin Bernsen and the Geriatrics

john says �oh my god, bug-eyed earl is in a band, and he�s playin� lead!�

drummer doesn�t show, improv drummer (gino) steps in, then real drummer shows after the 10 spot...john says �gino is the tom brady of drums�

lead singer says �masturbate�--huh.... huh

&&&&&&&& he said �she was sportin� chlamydia�---......huh....huh (her name was lydia)

john says �joe s. harrington [scratch that--the coach] would loooovvvvve this band�

***intermission: we just get free the dents t-shirts---mvp all the way--yay!....guy hangs up coat �this is the first time i�ve hung my coat up in the trash...the trash probably smells better than the coat�

band 16: triple thick:

john says �ladeees and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to david spade tryin� to be jad fair & his dumb sebadoh!�

***more free pizza (�cause we�re still runnin� mvps and all); john says �they�re feeding us like we�re stray kittens hoping we�ll stay and they don�t realize that, like stray kittens, we have no where else to go�-

band 17: sugabomb:

�titties...titties...do ya wanna touch my titties�--self proclaimed-

john says �she [lead singer] wants to be AXL�

then john says �so it�s bono trying to be AXL [lead singer], jan hooks [bass] , jared from subway [drums], and a friggin� MUPPETT [guitar]�

�we haven�t played in a month� --self proclaimed

(redeeming) cover of �talk dirty to me�--yay!

***intermission: mock fight--yay!

john gets pissed at shoelace bloused woman who wants the men�s potty room door closed--after having it open all day, why start closing it at 10?

band 18: the konks:

john says �what is this--an exercise video?�

we say �ehhh�...or did we mean �meh�?

�we are the konks and we don�t fuckin� care�--self proclaimed (well, that�s reassuring)-

�the worst has already happened and the best is yet to come� --self proclaimed [the idiots were right]

5 minutes of heckling (bird is the word!) ensue while they try to figure out which cover song to play---&&&&&&&&&& with all that thought it sucked anyway-

***john trips a punk--catches him (good save)--yay! he didn�t get beaten up...idiot-

band 19: the tampoffs:

we loved this band--fun, funny--&&&&&&&&& ROCK!

john peers down at band, crowd from top of barstool for last two sets--fufills, encourages tallness envy

band 20: spitzz:

jesus christ! the only band that could give the proppppaaaaa send-off- man this band is spppplllllllennnnnndeeeeerrrrrrriiiiiifffffffiiiiic-

john says �if the pixies never happened that band would have been the pixies that never happened�

we looooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeedddddd this band-

jenn shook her booty--jenn never shakes her booty--this band was completely worthy of a jenn shakey bootie-

shake yo� bootie to this band too-

what can we say: free rounds, free tees, free band passes, free pizza--the staff of the abbey took damn good care of us- we love them- you should love them too- so what that you didn�t make it this time, that you�re shakin� your fists up to the gods, damned to be once again another loser of the world- but we say, only make this mistake once- get your ass in gear and show up at this bar--cheap beer, good music, a hearty scene, &&&&&&&& as the singer from the dents says �it feels like home�

there�s a weekend of 6 worcester bands vs. 6 boston bands coming up soon [check abbey�s website for more details]--we think we�re gonna be there...the question is: will you?

& i could say more but it�s fuckin� 2 in the mornin�--i�m drunk &&&&&&&& i have to unpickle my liver by 7 so i can get to work-

i say: you should�ve been doin� the same-