2003-03-19 - 2:51 a.m.

I'm narcissistically concerned with the quality of my diary entries.

And sometimes I don't really have any good ideas, but I wanna update, replace, my most current entry, either because it's been up there for too long (I feel an obligation to update daily), or because I'm embarrassed by the poor quality of the most recent entry, or because it was one of those rile-up entries that I wanna distance myself from.

And sometimes I just hate myself for not getting it right.

And some entries, the "serious" ones, are hard to follow up. I mean, here I am making a position point, and the next day I wanna make a silly point, or just be silly?

Some days, silence truly is golden, but in this format, there is no silence. Let's say I write whatever, next day Nevada blows up--I'm not gonna comment on that right away--then someone checks my diary, glib entry awaiting.

Those screen-wipe entries are the hardest to write--suffering from either lack of inspiration or dearth of taste, and I don't wanna write a bullshit entry that I don't feel, either, but one way or another, I gotta write something.

I tend to start and delete and start and delete and start and delete, 'till I just get frustrated and write something stupid and short, but at least not uninspired yet committed.

I think that, in the future, when faced with this stupid challenge, I'm just gonna write screen wipe and wait 'till tomorrow. Sound good?