2003-05-28 - 12:41 a.m.

It�s the little fucking things I do every day automatically that really bother me when I evaluate myself. When I think about the things that I do everyday, and I wince--when I�m that guy who shudders when he thinks of all those days where nobody was in charge of wincing; all those things I do everyday--all the small ones that got away.

The little automatic gestures, personal clich�s, shit that ain�t cute, the annoying things I do because I just do them, and that�s the only reason why.

Those little fuckers, each one easily squishable, but when added up are a swarm of little fucker bugs, annoying and impossible to stop when cumulative, armed, and mobilized.

The problems I can�t just catch and correct, I can�t even work on �cause it�s who I am every fucking day.

I hate those days when I think of myself that kinda way. But someone�s gotta say it every now and then to me. And I�m glad it�s me I�m wrestling with.