2003-08-09 - 1:19 a.m.

Jeezus Christ. I just guitarred my ass off.

I don�t know what it is--it�s not my ear, but the more alcohol in me, the less technical I play on the guitar, but the more inventive I am, and the better I sing.

I can weather slumps in the short run too, which is specific to me only to music. I can bounce back from a bad attempt at a song, and just go to the next one, or try it again and see what I can learn from another go.

I did my old songbook from a couple of years ago tonight--the brown one. I mean, dude. The unfinished songs, I can see why they weren�t finished. But they tell a clear story of the guy I was back then, and it�s a well told, but not pretty, story.

And if those stabs are okay by the guy I am now, well.

It just goes to show, the older I get, the more I learn, the more cynical I become, the less I�ll allow myself to do.

I could have three or four indie albums out right now if I wasn�t so awestruck and slothful and timid (and selfish).

And that�s being highly realistic.

And then I get pissed off when I see talentless bands. That�s like not voting and complaining about the government.

I need a band.