2004-01-21 - 3:01 a.m.

It's time for me to join the 21st century.

I'm getting a cellphone.

Okay--it's not a rash decision. I put some thought into it. It's fine for me to get one for the following reasons:

1) They're convenient. I can call the Roommate and tell her I�m running late and not have to search around for an errant and ever-vanashing payphone. I can call the Roommate and ask a quick question. I can check in at work no problem. Not to mention the fact that I can have a cellphone handy at all those litte moments where I think jeezum crowe, this'd be tons easier if I had a cellphone right now.

2) I searched around and got a really good deal (perhaps because I waited so long).

3) I got a pretty phone that I think is really cool (perhaps because I waited so long), for free. It does everything I want it to (like a clock and a color screen and stuff like that) and if having neat-o gadgets of questionable necessity makes me happy, it's okay to be happy, so it�s okay to have them. (See also: iMac. See also: iPod.)

4) It's gotten to the point where everyone has a cellphone. Everyone. Everyone in my family has one. Everyone at work. Most of my friends. Virtually everyone I know has one. Believe me--I'm the last person on earth who has to be reminded that if Billy jumped off a bridge would you, but where things stand, me not having a cellphone is an inconvenience to others, and that supersedes the ...then they�re not really your friends rule.

5) Know what? It�s not like I�m Cat Stevens. It�s okay to strongly hold onto one view for awhile and then decide that that�s not the best view for myself anymore. Really. It is. Even if it was right then. Five years ago? Cellphones are evil. I guess if you�re a president or drug dealer, you�d need one, but otherwise they�re completely wasteful and pompous. People who use them in public are obnoxious. Today? I have the above reasons. And hey--I want one, I can afford one, and I�m obviously not going to be obnoxious about owning one. Hating cell phones in 1999? That�s fine. But we lost that war, and it�s time for me to join the winning side and feast.

This is not a rash decision, and the fact that I didn�t want one before but now I want one does not indicate that there�s something wrong--I�m not shopping for toupees that will stay put when I put the top down on my fiery new red Camero. I don�t have secret fantasies of suddenly getting calls from supermodels and text messages from poet laureates. I got a good deal and I chose a sensible plan. It�s kinda like when a new electronic product isn�t so new anymore--smudged with fingerprints--and finally peeling back the protective plastic strip that was already starting to peel off anyway, and everything looks new again. It�s 2004 and I�m finally ready for the 21st century.