2004-03-30 - 11:33 p.m.

I hate being sick. Well, no, I mean I don't hate it in that my suffering in no way compares to what people with terminal illnesses are going through, and then when I think of it that way, I just feel guilty.

And (aside from the Saul Bellows kinda Romantic side of it) I also understand that sometimes it's mentally good to be physically sick for awhile--that sometimes I need a break from being together and that sometimes I just need to sit in my room and watch movies and play video games and feel antzy and time wasting.

The Roommate said I look cute when I'm sick, and while I completely disagree with her, I understood what she meant when she explained it. She meant that it was nice to see me lazy and vulnerable with my beard trimmed improperly, weaing the only sweatshirt I own.

It's like seeing a supermodel wearing jeans and a sweater with her hair up and her makeup at 50%, but far, far less so. You get the idea.

Sometimes I gotta be sick, and if I could punch the guy who got me sick (who, by the way, is avoiding me like the plague so to speak because he doesn't want to get sick from me and I think he forgot about when he was sick because that was all the way from last Thursday), I would, and it totally sucks to have to burn a vacation day cause I get like six a year, but I guess that all that being sick amounts to is just being somewhat helpless and very annoyed, just like being sort of lost, and you just gotta ride it out.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I recorded a song this weekend (right? Did I mention that?). The song is I Won't and it came out better than my first shot at recording a song this time around. The best part was playing the tambourine, which was resting on my papasan ottoman for optimum dampering and sound and not-sliding-around-too-muchness, with, in the absence of drumsticks, a tin whistle and a pen. Did I mention that? If I did and I forgot it's because I'm sick, remember, and I can be silly if I wanna and if I also have the energy to to so.

I hope future songs I record all come out as good or better, but I'm afraid I might have hit my peak oil with that one--I really had it mapped out well in my head.

We'll see.