2005-01-23 - 2:00 a.m.

It. Is. SO. Awesome. Outside.

But nobody can stand it!

WAKE UP! It's New England! For chrissakes.

NEW ENGLAND!

Except for a bunch of hippies in Vermont and a bunch of facist punks in New Hampshire, we can't brag about our craggy mountains. And none of us can bag about our sandy sweltering frigid deserts or our huge, gaping, gorge-like holes like other states can.

We don't have volcanos. We don't have balds, or reefs, or fjords.

We have snow. And while it isn't news if it snows in Alaska, it's news here.

Let's work this out.

Let's learn to enjoy it, eh?